Wednesday, 19 April 2017

How I Found Happiness


I learnt to be confident 

Over the past year or so, I realised that I've always envied those people who come across as super confident, content individuals. When I thought back to School, University and even my working life I also realised that I was at my happiest point in my working life. It sounds crazy but I absolutely loved my work; I developed skills and friendships, I got promoted and I was confident and happy within myself. I'm not saying that every day was perfect because no one in this world has a perfect life. However, this was when it occurred to be that I was happy because I was confident. The reason that I was confident was because I learnt to fake it! I wasn't always right, in fact I was often wrong but I was never worried about what others thought of me and that was the key. During the past few months I changed jobs and I kept that lesson with me; even if you're nervous pretend you're not. The only thing holding yourself back is you.

I ditched the diet

I'm the first to admit that I'm not 100% happy with my body shape. I had an eating disorder growing up so I'm very aware of my body image but at the same time I've learnt not to dwell on it. The reason that I'm not a size 4 is because my body isn't supposed to be and that's ok. At one point I was doing my best to eat clean and stifle cravings, but that actually made me feel really rubbish. So I decided that if life is to be lived, I'll eat a cake, I'll have ice cream and I'll definitely chew down a nice greasy burger if I want to! I'm not saying that I eat bad food everyday, but I don't deprive myself of the things that I want anymore. After all, the naughtiest food tastes the best and looks the best on instagram so that's always a bonus too! I like going for catch ups with my best friend and eating good food and drink, which would be impossible if I didn't relax.

Restructured my friendship group

When you've been severely depressed to the point where you reach rock bottom, it sounds so typically cliché but you really do learn who your true friends are. Those who couldn't be bothered to make an effort with me, I stopped begging for effort and attention from. I don't even miss them as I have a much better group of friends right now; I've also rekindled some friendships that I needed to work on from university and school; people who I had really missed having in my life. Now I concentrate on those who were there for me at my worst and they're the ones who deserve to know me now that I'm feeling better. I understand that it's hard when you're not well but at the same time, when you're down you need support from those closest to you.

I engaged in a hobby

I actually started this blog back in 2013 and never really pushed myself to post regularly. However, at the suggestion of my boyfriend I decided to indulge in a hobby to keep my mind busy. So, I decided to get back into blogging and completely overhauled my blog last summer. I changed the the username and the layout and began to actually make an effort to post regularly. As I studied Fine Art at university, blogging is a fantastic way of using my creativity again. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, I started spending my time planning and writing blog posts instead which not only filled up my time but actually gave me something to focus on and see improvements from. The more I started posting, the more readers I got and I saw the benefits of making an effort gave me. Plus, I've enjoyed getting more involved within the blogging community, there are so many amazingly supportive people in this world.

I found love 

My boyfriend has honestly been the most supportive person in my life during the past year. I was thinking that no one old ever love me, that I didn't deserve anyone or anything, but he's changed all of that. He literally encourages me every step of the way to be more positive and life my life without any regrets, through being more confident and seeing friends more often. He's introduced me to a different way of life and I'm ever grateful to him for that. I never thought I'd see different parts of this world and now I've seen things that I had never imagined.

Ultimately, I found myself. From within myself I found my happiness.


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