Monday, 3 October 2016

I need help.


After having a positive few days, sadly I've started feeling a bit rough and overthinking a lot again. I feel like I'm at a bit of a crossroads; I'm in two minds whether or not to completely overhaul my life. The trouble is, I'm constantly thinking 'what if?' And I feel a little trapped in my mind and in a cycle of life. As in, I feel like I need to change my job, but I'm afraid that I'll be making a bad decision... I'm worried that I'll miss my current job, even though I have good and bad days there and to be honest I feel like I should change, to have a change. But then is it worth to change if it's more or less for the sake of it? I guess many would say that I'm stuck in a rut and deep down, I do agree with that.

I guess the problem is not the job, it's myself, my mind. My mental health. It's bizarre because autumn is my favourite time of the year; I can say with certainty that I need to look after myself before I make any changes, even if I do long change. I think it's time to explore the idea of professional help, blogging has been good for me, as has making myself explore the city with my boyfriend but I think there's still a long way to go. Until then, I'm going to continue blogging and try and find peace in the outside world. I love photography and so I want to concentrate on what I enjoy rather than what I dislike, hopefully that will help for the time being. I'm sorry that it's a rather sad and confused jumble of a post, yet again.


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